A time of reflection
Just shy of celebrating Christmas I find myself reflecting on the year, a more recent annual habit of mine.
My birth order opportunity of observing sibling’s life lessons, caused me to watch, study, listen and learn. One brother recently observed and mentioned how deeply I think. I guess the trait I thought to be common, is not the norm. Being an introvert, along with my unique position as sibling number nine of ten caused me to consider consequences of actions without being engaged in my own personal life experience. As an extension of that characteristic, I share pieces of my time in reflection this year.
Count your blessings.
Over the years, I have set aside this season as one to count my blessings, as sung about in my favorite Christmas movie of all time, White Christmas. I can’t think of a better way to end the year than to count my blessings.
God is good.
I pause to reflect on God’s goodness and acknowledge His awareness of my struggles. I do my best to walk by faith and not by sight. No matter how circumstances feel or seem, I have repeatedly confirmed that God responds with His best. I recognize that He sees, knows and provides for the long game, so to speak. He works all things for my good. He does.
Comprehending that I live in a fallen world where evil seems to prevail, I fought my war with cancer. Years later I am able to write about what I learned in that school. Writing and sharing my story has freed me from the cancer event trauma and placed me into rest. I acknowledge that this one huge, bad thing is being used for my good. Further, I expect others are or will be blessed. That said, I have experienced too many blessings, “coincidences”, as well as aftereffects to deny that God is engaged in my life. He is involved as any good father would be when our ground is being shaken. He knows and provides for what we need.
Revelations from my cancer journey have also given me the opportunity to consider that some people will not have the same outcome as me. While I can count the days that have been stolen from me, others may still be counting days stolen from them. Further, there are those that have been taken down by this ugly beast. In this space, I surrender to the knowledge that God is sovereign. I don’t know why I am here to talk about it. I don’t comprehend why others are not. I do understand that God is the only one that knows the number of our days on this earth. He values and counts our days, and eventually welcomes us into His kingdom, should we accept His Son as our Savior.
I am good enough.
My most incredible discovery and theme over this year is that I am good enough! I became aware that much of my hard work and pressing-in to get “things done” over the years was unwittingly due to a false belief that I was not good enough. This was a subconscious belief that my efforts underpinned the worthiness of my life’s call and purpose. Now, I grasp that if I believe I am not good enough, it also communicates that God is not good. Why do I say this? Because, I am God’s creation. If all He creates is good, He also made a good creation in me.
I say all of this to remind you that you are also definitely good enough and none of us need any fantastical efforts to prove our worth. I have since chucked that lie in the ground and stomped on it. Hopefully, you are able to do the same, if you haven’t already.
I pray that you too are able to make time to reflect on the last 365 days, count your blessings, confess and embrace the good, bad, fails and victories. It all counts. Understanding and wisdom are acquired on the road of life and our experiences enlarge our ability to love others.
With that, I leave you with the song I mentioned at the opening of my blog.
Love and peace,
Rita Ann
