Moving Forward
Me
…after one of my many Folfirinox chemo treatments. One of my side effects was sensitivity to cold.
It almost seemed celebratory as we moved into our last month of preparation before surgery, my recovery time and Jim's increased caregiver responsibilities that would follow. There were many last minute details to put in order beforehand. We needed to set up our Family and Medical Leave Act or FMLA with our employers, I arranged for disability pay for my time away from the office, we worked with our managers to arrange our work schedules and assignments. I wasn't so concerned about my surgery or recovery time. I felt like I had done my best and accomplished what I had control of and God, Jim, and the doctors were there to lean on throughout the rest of my role here.
She said I want to get a puppy. She said it will be great. Meanwhile, Felix has graduated from puppy obedience training, and is pretty well potty trained. However, like most puppies he needs lots of supervision and his worst attribute has been pulling and unraveling threads of our brand-new area rugs. What once would have made me angry becomes a happy memory of Felix's puppyhood.
Meanwhile, Jim has been so patient with me and this little dog. Me, for bringing home a puppy when Jim already had more than enough responsibilities and Felix for all of his puppy-ness. All of this is true. However, my thought: Felix is a beautiful little soul and rugs can be replaced. Is that me talking? This battle for my life has certainly changed my perspective. Life seems so much more precious. Material items, work-life woes, current events and the conflicts of daily life all seemed to fade away. It's as though the dance of life that we were in was surrounded by a cloud while Jim and my attention was fixed on walking into my miraculous healing or our promised land. This imagery reminds me of the pillar of smoke that the Israelites followed by day in the desert as God had brought them out of Egypt, through the Red Sea and the desert to their promised land. This was an impossible feat without God. Our tribe was traveling with us. These cherished ones that chose to help us complete our mission are more valuable to us than words can describe. We couldn't have and wouldn't have wanted to do this without you all. We thank you from the depths of our hearts for all the phone calls, text messages, emails, greeting cards, meals, rides to radiation, funding and holding our hands up throughout this war in any way that you were able. We are forever grateful.
My only sister, Nancy.
One of my biggest supporters…sitting with me at the Mayo.
