Grappling

We were grappling with what we heard.  Our drive home from the doctor’s office was a quiet one.  Time has taught us that a few strategically placed words can soothe a traumatic situation more than a careless string of words.  After we settled in at home, we agreed that our consultation with the surgeon didn’t sit right with us.  It seemed that he had already given up hope on my chances of surviving this deadly disease.  We asked ourselves, do we really want him to be our doctor?  We did however decide to keep our first oncology appointment that was scheduled in the next few days and agreed to make additional decisions after that meeting. We knew that pancreas cancer had stigma associated with it, because of the low survival rate.  For this reason, our next decision was to determine who we could safely tell about my medical event.  This is very important to me.  Pancreas cancer is known to be a death sentence and we needed to tell people who we knew could battle in faith with us to believe for complete healing.  Christian beliefs define that words are either a blessing or a curse and I needed all the blessings I could get.  For the one to two months, we decided that we would only tell a small circle of friends and family that we believed we could count on to speak positive words over my life.